As I experience and become more and more aware of this fact, I feel that how you play on your stage is the key to an easier life. If you’re on the stage you have to play well, by that I mean to be completely honest, real and alive. Only a real actor is a good actor. On the stage there is no fear of the future there is just the present.

And you can enjoy any role; you can be the crazy or serious person, gentle or soft, the boss or the servant, the mother, the husband, the teacher or anything else. And although you’re playing different roles, at some point you realise it’s not a fake you, these characteristics are a part of you. The role you’re playing at this time is just an aspect of your personality, the one you want to be seen at the moment.

People often identify themselves as if they have just a single role for their life. But the role you play can change during your life, even during a single day. And it’s boring to just believe and fixate on one role.

It becomes good fun once you start to notice what your role is in any new situation. Especially if you surrender to it and fully accept it. For example, if you’re able to play the perfect servant, you know how it feels and the next time you can be the perfect boss because of your experience as the servant.

The thing is if you do not accept your role and you hate it, you can never move on. You can never step out of it.

One step can be: do not take yourself too seriously! Feel like you’re on the stage. Notice how you’re feeling about the role you are in. And if you don’t like it, look at it closer. What is the reason you don’t feel comfortable with it. And always remember to breath!

The next step may sound crazy but there is no other way: you have to fall in love with it. That means full acceptance that is love only. And then the fun starts; you can freely step in and out of anything you want. That is an incredible feeling of freedom.

So what are the steps?

1. Dont take anything too seriously. Life keeps changing and this moment will pass sooner or later. Try to look at the situation from above, like you’re looking down at the theatre as the director, while at the same time you are involved on the stage.

2. Realise this is just a role. You are not the role. For example, maybe now you’re the mother of the family, taking care of children, cooking and cleaning. And then from 6pm you’re going to switch to sexy, passionate lady, dressed up to have a perfect date with your husband. We have to put some spice into it and become alive in the role!

3. Fall in love with the role. Love is acceptance! Breath deeply to the belly, noticing what it is that you don’t like. Then find the courage to accept it.

I hope this approach will be an inspiration for you. And my last suggestion is to not expect miracles right away. As with any self-development exercise, it takes practice. Be patient. And keep breathing :)

If there is anything you’re wondering about please don’t hesitate to leave a comment.

Bara

I would like to talk about this shortly. Firstly, I would say that nothing is right or wrong, better or worse. People usually just long to explore a wider range of possibilities. I think the curiosity of the unexplored is a strong force. And the good news is that we are really the creators of our lives.

The way you experience sexuality totally corresponds with the way you experience all aspects of live. Once we start to develop our sexuality and change the attitude towards our self, our relationships start to automatically shift as well. You are the one who may feel that your usual way of experiencing pleasure and orgasm is not enough yet.

The first pattern is that ejaculation means orgasm. But that’s a mistake. This idea exists because of the hasty world we live in. People are stressed and tired, feeling limited by time. Men like to release the tension the way they know. But ejaculation is just a release and orgasm is independent of it. And I encourage you to be more curious about yours and your partner’s body, rather than running for quick release. Create the space and time you need where nobody will disturb you. Turn your phone off and play! It’s like meditation. Osho said we don’t meditate we just create the space for meditation to come.

You may be a total “beginner’’ and it doesn’t matter that after one or two hours of wonderful pleasuring that you ejaculate. The important thing is to change your view on the subject. It can be hard and frustrating to forget about ejaculation. But in time things will change and you will reap the benefits. I urge you to give it a try for these reasons:

1. Powerful sensations
If your desire for ‘ejaculation only’ disappears (don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you will never ejaculate again), than the experience of sexual pleasure itself is more profound. When we’re stuck in that pattern of focusing on orgasm (ejaculation), we are losing the present moment. The thoughts are stronger and we’re just in that desire for orgasm. You’re always asking yourself. “When will I finally achieve the goal?” No, no, no. There is no goal. Instead you should be fully immersed in your senses.

2. No tiredness after
The fact is that with ejaculation man loses his energy. In traditional Chinese terminology it is called, Chi. You can use the awakened Chi for energizing the body or to just release it into the air. If you keep it in your body you will feel charged and fresh.

3. Your woman is happier
It is well known fact that women take three times longer to reach climax than men. And a man can give her this opportunity easier if he can chose if he ejaculates or not. He can then focus on connecting with her on a deeper level.

4. Full body orgasm
What is it? How does it feel? It is like a full body experience of orgasmic waves, where the energy flows through all your being. They say it is similar to female orgasm. Usually when man ejaculates the strong sensation is located first in the chakra only (the penis and surrounding area). However, someone can feel a full body orgasm even in their fingertips. And it can last for many minutes. Of course, everyone describes the experience differently.

5. Healing use of the energy
As I said in point two, our energy can be better used. If we consciously work with sexual energy we can heal our body and restore the inner balance and release the blocks. And you can become a more aware and conscious person.

This was a very brief five points about the benefits of working with Chi. It’s very important to note that it needs practice and patience. It needs good guidance; maybe a book to practice with at home, or a workshop that you go to with a partner. Tantra massage is often the first step into a new world where the exploration never ends.

If you’re interested in this topic, there is great book called Multi-orgasmic Man.
Or you can meet me on the Hegre.com live cams and I will try to answer all of your questions personally.

But the best thing is to come and experience a session with me. To find out more, please visit www.hegre.com/tantra.

So simply close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine you’re seated on a comfy Nuru stool. There is no need for thoughts; there is no need to do anything. Warm water pours over your body, washing away the stress. I’m close by to take care of you, to wash your body and to remind you how it feels to be safe and loved. You’ll become ready to fully open up and be able to receive all that is given to you at that moment.

That’s why I said it is invisible. It is coming from outside world but with the intention to match the same quality of feeling within your being. Which also makes it more reachable in the future.

But what is it? Sometimes we can see it in a person’s eyes. I’m sure it’s happened to you before. That moment when you made eye contact with someone and you saw something special in their eyes – something that’s normally hidden, but for that split second becomes visible to you.

That person let you have a quick look inside their inner garden. The gate was open. That’s the mystery. And it’s up to us if we open our gate too. Because only than is there a true and honest meeting of two people. I’m not saying it is easy to achieve, but it is possible. And I can help you. The key is finding peace and comfort and just letting things happen exactly as they come.

The bath ritual is the beginning of the journey with any Tantra session, or there is longer specialist Bath Ceremony with more water elements added. You will experience the intimate connection I was just talking about. Allowing a person to touch your body is not the same as allowing yourself to be touched on the inside at the same time. We have a whole life to explore these feelings and the Bath Ceremony is one of the most pleasant ways of doing it.

If you are interested in having your own Tantra experience, please book your session here: http://www.hegre.com/tantra